Hey there old friend, I've missed you!

Okay, so I've been a bad blogger...shame on me...I really want to blog each day but I just somehow get sucked into the computer surfing vortex and waste all my time there LOL! I am seriously on a mission to better organize my time so that I can accomplish what I need to during my day as well as do what I want, like blog, scrapbook, read..you know, the important things!! LOL

so, here it is, I've been in a kinda slump for awhile. Not really sure about my life. I don't necessarily want to get too overly personal on this blog, after all, who wants to come and read about my woes or stuff, and I basically wanted this to be a fun place to visit, where you can peek into the generalness (is that a word?) of my daily life and see some of the scrappy stuff I like to create. However, today's post is going to be a bit more personal and lengthy, so if you are not in the mood, stop right here!

Being forewarned, I'll continue....

Like I said, I've felt like I've been in a slump, or a big state of...I don't know....just not knowing about me, myself or my life. I've been feeling like I kinda just exist, ya know? Like I'm not a participant in my own life, that I'm just going along, la de da, and not really doing anything. Problem is I wasn't sure what it was I wanted to do, wanted to change etc. I feel like the past 10 to 15 years I've kinda lost me. Now, that's not to say I haven't been happy, or done things that have been cool, I just feel like the core of me, my soul and spirit had gotten lost somewhere and I really want to find them!

I've done some major thinking in the past month or so. I've tried to go back to who I was years before, and find the things that made me feel good about myself. Find the things that gave me enjoyment and fed my heart, mind and soul. And upon discovering these lost pieces of myself, I'm hoping to incorporate them back into my daily life and somehow refresh my spirit!

It will be a slow process for sure and that's ok! You know what they say, "slow and steady wins the race" right? So, lets go back, a long, long, long (insert big laughs here) time ago. I figure skated. Yep, me, I was a competitive figure skater with dreams of the Olympics. I wanted to stand on that podium while the National Anthem played as I wore a gold medal around my neck! I wanted to be the next Dorothy Hamill (see, told you it was a long time ago!)...and I was on my way to achieving that goal when all of a sudden, my little body played a cruel trick on me, my knees gave out! Oh, I still remember hearing the Orthopedic Surgeon tell my mom that my knees were bad and some of the bones in my legs had grown in wonky (most likely due to the strain of my skating during those growth years...not that it happens to everyone, just lucky me!)...so, we could do surgery to repair them but it would be horrendous and mean a lot of recovery, and when you are 16 years old, you just say NOOOO!!! to the idea of needles, broken bones and pain....so, I gave up skating. ah well, I knew that my Olympic dreams would most likely not be realized, the competition is way stiff, so I decided to just hang it up, and I threw myself into a typical teenagers life!

I have always felt badly about the way my skating career ended. I actually couldn't watch skating for the longest time (I know, big pity party for myself), and then as the years went on, I just kinda forgot about it. I will say that ever since giving it up, not a year has gone by though where I haven't thought about dusting off my skates and taking to the ice again).

See where this is going yet? LOL!! Again, this year, I had been thinking that I should get back on the ice. My skates however were really old and after babies, well, lets just say they didn't want to fit my feet again. Here was my new dilemma. Do I invest in a pair of skates again? They are not cheap, and sorry if it sounds snobbish, I just can't wrap my "skater" brain around renting skates or buying a cheap pair...my feet just wouldn't stand for that! I hemmed and haaa'd and well, finally decided this:
Yep, these are my new puppies! Beautiful, pristine, white boots, new, shiny, sharp, silver blades, and together they make my new skates!! I have decided that even with my 40 something body, I am going back to my roots....going back to something I loved to do so long ago, something I've missed for years, something that I can do for myself that will not only feed my spiritual needs (just gliding across the ice gives me such a feeling of peace), but it will also take care of my physical need for a more active lifestyle!

Mind you, I have NO ambitions to be a twirling, jumping, dress wearing, figure skater! Those days are over. What I hope to gain from this is what I just said, a sense of self, some peace and joy, and some healthy exercise. I've bought my ice time, and am joyous at the fact that I will be once again gliding across the frozen water!

Today I took my new babies out for a spin and while I admit, I wobbled at the beginning...heck, you need to feel my boots...talk about stiff....after a few minutes I was skating away, smiling inside and out...even doing my crossovers, three point turns, a two-footed spin (hey now, it's been a long time, give a girl a break!) and feeling like a little part of the Cricket I was missing had come back for a visit...I hope she stays around this time!

My mom came to the rink today to see me. It was like old times, the years before flashed in my head, seeing my mom in the stands as I whizzed by, knowing I had a fan. She brought her camera today to mark this craziness in my life and I'll share with you some of those pics, and a small bit of advice, if there is something you are missing in your life, something you wish you were doing, make a point to find time and do it, feed your soul and your spirit, make yourself happy. We only get one time around this big ice rink of life and I want to make sure that I'm skating my heart out while I have the chance!



Until next time,
Blessings!