Making a change...

Wow, it's been since April since I last posted. I've often thought over these months about closing down this blog. Seems that I wasn't doing anything creative to share here and that was the iniital reason I had started this blog in the first place. Through the years of scrapbooking, cooking, and papercrafting, I had a place to share what I was doing with a few of my family and friends. Life sometimes took the content of my blog in a different direction and that was okay, it became a forum for me to open up (at some level) about my life, and how I was living it.

I say, at some level, because for many of those years I was living in quiet. By quiet, I mean that I was telling only the surface stuff, the vacation pictures, the cards or layouts I'd made, the nights out with friends or what my beautiful daughter was doing in her life. I wasn't really sharing me. I was, and at times still am, ashamed and embarrassed by my life, and what had become or should I say, not become of it. I wasn't living my life out loud!

Last January when Roger and I divorced, I posted about how I had been putting on a front for many years. A front of living a happy marriage. Most people close to me were not surprised when I finally announced my divorce, many said they had seen it coming for years but never wanted to say anything to me. I thought, all that time, that I was being really great at hiding my unhappy marriage and my unhappy life, and while I maybe succeeded in hiding my unhappiness, the fact that my marriage was not doing well was not something I was hiding very well. After all, how can a marriage survive when one partner checks out and stays away for months at a time? I vowed at that time that I was going to start living my life out loud! I had spent years keeping it all in and it was awful. I felt awful most of the time. Not being able to fully express myself, my thoughts, my joys or even my sorrows. I really thought that after my divorce, I was in a place where I would be able to do that, finally. I was wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I've had lots of blessings this past year. I have someone in my life who loves me, and that I love. I have my health. I've been going to school in pursuit of an education in Health Coaching and Nutritional Counseling. My daughter is in her last year of high school and doing wonderfully. I have friends I enjoy, I'm financially stable (however, I seriously need to learn to budget myself better..LOL), I've got a roof over my head, food in my pantry, a running car and the cutest little fur-baby you could ask for. Why then, do you ask, am I still finding that I can't live out loud? Why am I still hiding in the shadows? Why is it that I am not as happy or as free as I would like to be? I am going to answer all those questions, and I'm going to use this blog to do that. I am taking my blog in a whole new direction. I might lose some readers, heck, I've probably already lost many of you due to my extreme absence, and maybe I'll find a few new readers over the course of time, but either way, I'm making a commitment to myself to live my life out loud! This is where I will start to do just that. I would love for you to come along on my journey....

Until next time,
blessings!

It's up and running!!

My new website that is! Yep, have my site live now for my Holistic Health Coaching business. I'd love for you guys to stop by and take a look at it, let me know what you think!

Bella Health and Wellness

I have so many things that I am excited to share with all of you and can't wait!

If any of you are looking to find more balance in your life, or are wanting some guidance in healthy eating, cooking and living, I'd love to be able to work with you! You can contact me via my new site!

I look forward to this new and exciting journey in my life and thank all of you for your friendship and support!

Until next time,
blessings!

Seriously....February 8th?

That was the last time I gave attention to this sad, little blog of mine? What the heck people!? I guess I could ramble on with all the blah, blah...I did this...blah, blah....life is busy....blah, blah stuff that excuses are made of but I won't. I will say that I've wanted to pop on and post something so many times but I have just had so many other things that have taken priority in my life the past couple months. No excuses, it's reality!

Priority number One: Motherhood. Yep, raising my daughter and keeping her happy and healthy and not bored to tears...takes time my friends..LOL!

Priority number Two: Life as a student. I'm in school and while my course load is somewhat light and the hours are flexible, I still am finding it hard to figure out a routine that works that will allow me to do all that I want to with school, yet still have time to play. I honestly don't know what I do to fill the hours, other than run a household, raise a teenage daughter and mind a pretty darn cute dog but somewhere in the 24 hours I get each day, they run out on me as fast as I can blink!

Life with Todd....he's definitely a priority for me and one that I enjoy immensely. It's funny, when I was married and "single" due to Roger's travels, I had all this time to fill, I had forgotten (from our early years of marriage) that a relationship takes time..LOL..not that I mind one bit, but again, only so many hours in a day and when I want those hours to include daughter, school and Todd, it doesn't leave a whole lot of time leftover for creative play or blogging...

So there it is, no excuses for my life, just explanations as to why I have let this blog suffer...

Let me tell you about school! LOVE it! I am currently enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, working towards my certification as a nutritional counselor and health coach! I am so jazzed about this new journey for myself. It feels like the perfect fit for my life as it incorporates so many things that I have a love and true passion for. My goal is to build my own health counseling practice and to help others find balance and health in their lives! One thing that I will be doing is setting up a new blog (still keeping this one running of course) dedicated to healthy living. As soon as I am up and running I'll be sure to let ya'll know how to come visit me and get tips, recipes, thoughts etc. on living your life in abundance! Like I said, I am so excited to be on this journey and I'll be sharing it all with you!

As for my creative endeavors, I haven't done much but make a few cards here and there. I have taken photos of said cards so I'll share them here soon...need to upload them to this 'ol computer first....I also have a project I'm working on but can't really share any details here...as soon as I can though, I will...promise! I do miss playing with something creative and need to focus on, yet again, finding a way to schedule some time in my week to do it! I am normally such an organized person, and I don't think it's lack of organization as much as time management that is my problem..I'm thinking that, while I have this awesome iPhone which has my calendar, I'm a much happier when I have a planner that I can write in...first order of business tomorrow is to purchase myself a planner...

In other news, just waiting patiently for warm weather and sunny days to arrive here in Illinois. I am happy to say that in 3 weeks I will be jetting off to Las Vegas for a much needed vacation! Sooooo super excited to be going to Vegas!! I've always wanted to see it and am going to celebrate my birthday! Can't wait!! Tickets to see this guy are in the works...oh yeah...can't flippin' wait!!!



or how about this one...



Yeah, I'm just a little excited.....

Until next time,
blessings!

slacker...

well, I had planned on posting a kitchen adventure each week on Fridays, yep had all good intentions but never got around to it...slacker...I know! LOL! Instead I'll share it with you today...and then maybe this Friday I'll have something new to share from the kitchen. I do know that I am going to be doing some serious baking this weekend so I'm sure there will be something to blog about!

Last week, during one of our lovely snowed in days due to the Blizzard of 2011, I decided to make myself something that I normally eat (scrambled egg whites) but with a twist! I was in the mood for something Tex Mex, or Southwestern or whatever you want to call it and I threw this little concoction together, my black bean and egg white tortilla! I'm sure this isn't something new or inventive but it was for me..LOL!

I started by scrambling up some egg whites. While they were scrambling, I heated up about 1/4 cup of organic black beans in my microwave, heated up a high fiber, low carb, whole grain tortilla in my wonderful panini grill (oh how I love my panini grill), got my jar of salsa out of the fridge as well as some reduced fat shredded cheese. After everything was done I layered onto my tortilla the black beans, scrambled egg whites, a dollop of salsa (chunky kind) and a pinch of the reduced fat shredded cheese! Added a small side salad of romaine lettuce and cut tomatoes with a smidge of light ranch dressing and lunch was had!! It tasted soooo good! I would actually have this for breakfast too, and most likely will someday as I like to think outside of the traditional breakfast foods box every once and while!

Sorry for the crummy picture...sometimes food pics look, well, just downright gross but believe me when I say, it tasted really good!



I love that it's a low-fat, protein packed, high fiber meal...can't beat that for good health! Now if I can just get my lazy butt back to working out on a regular basis I'd be totally happy! My poor elliptical sits lonely in my basement just waiting for me to put him to good use...I'm actually considering bringing him upstairs to what would be a dining room if I had a dining room set and making that a workout room, that would be terrific for me and so much "prettier" a landscape to look at when working out! Okay, that's my goal for today, see how I can make that happen!

Alright, need to get moving, have some more cards I need to finish, some food I need to make for a party tomorrow, and my cup of tea is getting cold...

until next time,
blessings!

what do you do...

when you are basically snowed in by one of the worst snow storms in ages...you play! Yesterday I played around on the computer with a picture I took this summer. I am intrigued by photography but for some reason, as I've said before, I can't seem to wrap my head around all the technical stuff...the f-stops and apertures and white balance stuff! As a resort, I've decided that if I can't take a picture without using my auto setting, that I will work on learning how to edit photos! I really enjoy editing and so far I seem to be able to grasp that concept a wee bit easier! I mean, in the end, it's about personal like, what is pleasing to my eye, right?

Actions...actions are my best friend! I love that I can add some really cool looks to photographs to take them to places I could never do with my camera. In my pursuit of photography, I am more interested in landscape and fine art...I just don't care to photograph people or do portraiture. I do, however, admire those that do that and create such wonderful photographs and memories!

I love to take pictures of things that are broke down, grunged up, busted and dirty! LOL! I think they hold such character and are so cool to look at. While taking Mandi to Argo Tea in Evanston this past July, I decided to take my camera along and after getting some tea, we hit the road, walking all over downtown Evanston taking pics. This is a picture of the, well, not exactly sure what you call these..LOL, but they hold up the tracks of the El train above. I tweaked the curves a bit, upped the saturation a smidge and then added a couple actions...



Today I've been playing around with a crafty project for a swap I'm in for Valentine's Day, I'm really having fun creating it and will share it once I'm done! Made myself an interesting lunch today so in keeping with my friday food post, I'll tell you about it tomorrow!

Mandi is downstairs watching "Saw: The Final Chapter" , can I tell you how much I totally LOVE that this girl loves horror movies like me! Think I'll head down and see about starting some dinner for her and catch some of the movie....

Until next time,
blessings,

Blizzard of 2011!

Oh yeah, it hit and hit hard! We have been hearing for days how this storm was coming and boy, they were not kidding! It started on Monday night with a couple inches of snow, nothing terrible, then Tuesday morning the flurries began again. The news had warned us that we would start to see a pretty heavy fall of snow just around 3 p.m. and that the winds would pick up and sometime later in the evening, would turn fierce! They were not kidding! Todd decided to leave work around 5:30 ish or so and was going to attempt to drive over and ride the storm out with Mandi and me, but he got onto the expressway and it was totally a whiteout! He called to say he wasn't going to make it over and I told him I rather he go home and be safe then to try and come over. Of course I was soooo sad but I would have been even sadder had he tried and something happened to him. Let me say that I was still awake this morning at 3 due to the strong winds!! I was actually afraid that my windows were going to shatter and then what!! LOL! I just kept reminding myself that He would take care of me and not to be afraid. He did and all was well. When I woke up this morning, this is what I saw:

Front door and Front Step:

Looking across street from front door:

Side view off front porch:

Backyard...snow to top of fence!

My Pool is under there somewhere?

Backyard:


After trying to calm myself down (I hate snow, hate it, hate it hate it!!) and a couple cups of coffee, I ventured out and shoveled off that mess from my front step and walk. I thought I was going to die!! LOL! However, when I set my mind to something I do it and do it I did!! My plow service showed up a little while ago and the driveway is now clear...course I have mountains of snow on the sides (it amazes me that he was even able to push snow somewhere!)...and I am no longer feeling like I am confined to my home.

Todd called and was able to break out of his place as well and is on his way over. Got a pot roast cooking in the slow cooker for Mandi and him and it seems like this won't be the most awful day of the year for me! I will admit, that with the skies blue and the sun shining, the appearance of all this wintery white stuff is a pretty site...but, I'd much rather be looking at it from someone else's blog or photo and not out my front door. I think it's going to be a long time before I see my grass again!

Until next time,
Blizzardy blessings!

Friday and Food!

I told ya'll that I've been enjoying cooking again, however, I've also, since the holidays, been a little lax in watching my diet. Not that I've gone overboard mind you, or have gained any real weight, but I can tell by how my body is feeling that I've not been conscientious about putting healthy things into it! Too many cookies, candies, chips and dips and glasses of wine..oy! LOL!

I have been feeling out of sorts for a little while now and decided, yesterday in fact, finally, that I needed to get back to my regular way of eating, of eating regularly and healthy (skipped one to many meals these past couple months and that doesn't make for a good metabolism) and of cooking better foods. I want Mandi to start eating better as well, if she adopts these healthier habits now, it will save her health and life in her adult years.

So, I think I'll start a "feature" if you will, on my blog about my adventures into healthier cooking. I would like to update this feature every Friday (trying to think of a name to call it..LOL), even if I cook something on a Wednesday, I'll share with ya'll on Fridays...today being my first day! Yay!! Some of these recipes will be my own creations, others will be ones I find and test out and like! I have a little of both for you today!

First, I'll just share with ya'll what I had for breakfast, which is a regular item on my breakfast menu at my house. I made myself a yogurt parfait. I take a container of Weight Watchers Vanilla Yogurt (seriously, it's really good and the bonus is totally low cal!), then I mix in 1/4 cup of fruit (this morning it was blueberries..LOVE blueberries) and I added about 7 raw almonds that I coarsely chopped. YUM! Paired it with my cup of decaf coffee while I played on the internet!

Lunch today is another regular menu item. First, let me just say that a little over a year ago I purchased myself a panini grill, which, is my FAVORITE appliance right now! Seriously, this thing rocks! Mine is by Cuisinart and it has griddle plates as well as the panini type plates. Yesterdays pancakes were made using the griddle plates, made it a cinch!



Okay, back to lunch...I used my panini grill for this one. I took about 3/4 of a small zucchini and sliced it up (cut the slices in half too), about 3/4 of a yellow, crookneck squash, sliced the same, and a handful (maybe 1/3 cup) of mushrooms. Put them all into my saute pan that I had sprayed with a little olive oil, added some garlic salt and cracked black pepper..don't get me started on my love of cracked black pepper...what a flavor, and then sauted them all up.



When they were almost done I then took a whole wheat, low carb, high fiber tortilla (mine are from La Tortilla Factory) and heated it in my panini grill (which was already preheated and waiting to go!)...this takes just a minute or two. I then filled my tortilla with the veggie mixture, topped it with a pinch of reduced fat, shredded cheese and viola! A veggie taco! Added to my lunch as a 1/4 cup of low-fat cottage cheese (I use a 1% milk cottage cheese) into which I added another 1/4 cup of blueberries! Yum..and what is nice is that you have a few veggies left over to nosh on if the taco isn't enough to fill you up! Totally healthy lunch, providing you with fiber, vitamins, veggies, fruit and dairy and hardly any fat at all!



While surfing food sites and healthy eating sites this morning I came upon a yummy sounding recipe for Lemon Raspberry Muffins. Made with whole wheat flour as well as all-purpose flour (I try to keep my white flour type foods to a bare minimum). I picked up some really phat raspberries today at the grocery store...



and turned them into these: Lemon-Raspberry Muffins



I let Mandi be my taste tester and her verdict was a thumbs up! I admit, I took a small bite, I mean a cook has to try her creations right? LOL..and they are really tasty! Not too sweet and a nice tangy bite to them from the lemon and raspberry combination! Added bonus is that one muffin is under 200 calories! Score!! I'm hoping my girlfriends Cathy and Amy will enjoy them tomorrow as I am bringing some to our scrapbooking day at Cathy's!

I'm looking forward to sharing my kitchen adventures with you all and hope that if you see something you like and give it a try you'll let me know what ya think! Now to start thinking about dinner tonight...hummmmm!

Until next time,
blessings!

Randomness...

I had thought that starting with the first of the year, or actually the day of my divorce, that it would be a perfect time for me to make a commitment to blogging more frequently. Yep, seems like that isn't happening. I can say, though, that it is simply because I have less time and am having more fun time with my honey, Todd!

So, I figured this post will just be about some randomness from me, you know, stuff that I've been up to.

Cooking! yep, feels great to cook again, and to have more than just Mandi to cook for! LOL! Since becoming a vegetarian it has become more difficult to find joy in fixing meals because, quite frankly, most meals make much more than Mandi can or should eat, and I don't eat most of the meals Mandi eats and vice versa. I kinda fell into a pattern of taking her out for more meals and thus my love of cooking (I used to want to go to culinary school) faded into the great abyss! I've become a bit more conscientious of my money these days and decided that we needed to spend more time at home eating, after all, I can cook much healthier than we could ever get at a restaurant, plus, having Todd to cook for makes it just that much more fun and enjoyable for me. Even if I don't indulge in everything I fix, I enjoy the process and the smells that fill my house. Seeing Mandi eat more well balanced and healthier meals makes it all worth it too! In the past week I've made Beef Stew, Chicken Pot Pie, Italian Beef for sandwiches, Vegetarian Taco Soup, and today I have homemade Chicken Noodle Soup going (Mandi has a bad cold). Tomorrow is meatloaf and mashed potatoes! I've also enjoyed a bit of baking and have made cheesecake and chocolate chip cookies, and I have something special up my sleeve for Valentine's Day but I'm not "dishing" on that right now!

As for the crafty side of me, not been doing a whole lot of that since making Todd his South Beach album. Today, however I am working on making cards! Got a movie going in the dvd player, some Black Cherry Kool-aid in a glass (been craving this for a couple days now and I'm indulging today), and paper and inks are flying! Should have some creativeness to share soon...

For pictures, I thought I'd share a couple taken on New Years Eve this year. Seems like it was ages ago...




It was so nice to spend New Years Eve with Mandi and Todd. My mom came over and we cooked food, hung out and had a really nice evening. Todd and I got so involved with the computer that Mandi had to come tell us that it was now 4 minutes after midnight! LOL!

That's about it...have been watching the Bears and was hoping with every fiber of my being that we'd see them go to the Super Bowl this year, alas, last Sunday was a disaster and my beloved Bears will not be going...hanging out, watching the game with my girl and my guy was the best though, couldn't have asked for a better time! Have one last picture to share...from my warped sense of humor...we were sitting on the couch watching the game and Todd looked over at my jersey and said "we are upside down" because he had a number "6" on his for Jay Cutler, the quarterback and I had a number "9" on mine for the kicker, Robbie Gould...well, you can imagine, my first thought was...6....9...um...69!! Yep, had to have a picture of "our" nice number! LOL!!

With that, I'll leave you with our picture!


Until next time,
blessings!

South Beach 2010...getting my scrap on!

In December Todd and I took a little vacation to South Beach! Being fans of the MTV show, The Jersey Shore, we thought it would be fun to visit the places that Snookie, The Sitch, Pauly D and the rest of the gang hung out at. Todd had been to South Beach before so it was perfect, he knew all the places to go and have fun. The weather was terrific...a couple days it was a bit cooler but still, blue skies and sunshine! We spent our days laying on the beach, soaking up some sun, walking the strip, eating and drinking, taking late afternoon naps to recharge our batteries so that we could "fist pump" all night long at Mangos, Tantra and Clevelander's! I had, seriously, the best time of my life....it definitely is a vacation that will never be re-created!

For Christmas I made Todd a mini album of our trip. I used a technique that I learned from Carol Wingert and took an old book and re-purposed it for this mini. Taking out the original book pages and sewing in my own signatures using patterned papers from My Mind's Eye and Bazzill. I embellished the pages with the same papers and different odds and ends I had in my stash. I had such a terrific time making this mini, it brought back each wonderful moment as I created the pages, and it definitely brought back some of my creative mojo that I had lost during this past year.

My next project is to create some vintage themed Valentine's Day cards...I can't even believe it's coming that fast, however, that means winter is moving along here in Chicago and there will be light at the end of this cold and icky tunnel!

Until next time,
Blessings!

He makes my heart smile!

I wanted to share someone with you. This someone makes my heart smile. This someone came out of nowhere and has brought me such happiness. This someone brings a smile to my face each and every time I think about him. This someone is Todd.

I met Todd a few months ago, a few months after Roger and I made the decision to divorce, and we have been going strong ever since our first, crazy meeting. I don't know what the future will hold, right now I'm focused on enjoying the moment with this cutie. I've learned that I don't have control over my life, ultimately it is in God's hands, it was His hands that brought me this sweet man.

This is my favorite picture of us together. Seriously, each time I look at it my heart smiles wide.....feels good!

Living my life out loud!!

The date is April 27, 1982. I have been set up on a blind date and just a little nervous as I stood in the bathroom of my parent's house getting ready. "He likes preppy girls" my friend told me, so there I was, all dolled up in what would have made Lisa Birnbach, author of "The Official Preppy Handbook" proud. I walked into an unknown apartment in Roger's Park, Illinois (a section of the city of Chicago) to meet a cute 16 year old with a mouth full of braces, a beautiful head of light brown, curly hair and a fabulous smile, complete with dimples. This young man would steal my heart. This young man and I would spend the next 8 years of our lives tied to the hips, spending as much time as we possibly could with each other, until 8 years, 1 month and 6 days later we would be wed at my church in front of our friends, family and God. 20 years, 7 months and 8 days later we would be officially divorced and ending our more than 28 and a half years of life together. Yes, Roger and I are now divorced.

There, I said it out loud for the first time, and even though, as I will tell you, it is a good thing, those words still stick in my throat. Will I ever get used to hearing them? Will I ever get used to knowing that I am a "divorcee"? I don't know. What I will tell you is that I am full of mixed emotions today. I am sad. Sad that we couldn't make the long haul and that I truly believed I would stay married to Roger for the rest of my life, growing old with him by my side, but I am happy. I am happier than I have been in a very long time and that feels great.

I tried. I tried and tried for what feels almost like an eternity to "fix" us. I prayed. I prayed and prayed for hours, through tears, through anger, through unbelievable grief to my God to "please, just let me be happy with Roger" until one day I finally realized (or was it the voice of God that I finally listened to) that in order for me to be happy, to have the life I wanted and all the beautiful things in it I was dreaming of, I needed to walk away. To start new. To begin to live. To be reborn in a sense. Today is my birthday, not the day I was divorced. I will tell you too, that Roger and I are better "friends" now than we have been in a long time...funny, isn't it? He did fix us.

It's an interesting thing, faith and God and all that entails. Here I was, begging and pleading and thinking that He wasn't answering me, when in fact, all he was saying to me, and all that I was resistant to hear and believe was, have faith. I know that God was waiting for me to take my leap of faith in Him. He was going to provide all that I needed and be my soft ground to land on if I just trusted enough in the fact that maybe, just maybe what I had planned for my life was not what He was planning. That He would give me my hearts desire if I had enough faith in Him to provide it. It took me a very long time but I finally realized that in order for me to have it all, I need to let go of it all. Just as He promises, He took care of me. The strength and happiness I felt, as soon as I made the decision to walk away from Roger and to a new life is something I can never put into words. I am filled with such power and contentment that I am ashamed I waited and hesitated so long. Trust me when I say that I will never doubt again. I place all of my life into His hands for I know that "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." He never failed me. He fixed "us", just not in the way I imagined....

So, today I say goodbye. Not goodbye to Roger. I'll always hold a special place in my heart for him. He is the father of my child and for that alone, I will always care about him. I spent over half of my life (to date) with him in it, and I refuse to ruin all of those years by holding onto anger and bitterness. I don't want to hate. I refuse to hate. I also refuse to focus on the bad (gosh knows we have certainly had our share of the bad), but to focus on the many wonderful memories of my life with him. I would not be the person I am today were it not for Roger in my life. I will always be grateful for having him. I will always look back in fondness on the years I spent with him and all that he gave to me and that I gave to him. My wish for my life is that he and I will remain friends, that we will always be able to talk to each other, remember all the good times shared and smile for those moments. So, thank you Roger. Thank you for the life we shared and the goodness we had.

It's taken a long time for me to "announce" to the world what was going on with me. I have changed (recently) my blog to reflect my intention for the rest of my life. Like I said, today is my birthday! Today is the day that I begin to "Live my life out loud", today is the gift I unwrapped from God and grabbed onto with both hands.....ready to face the world and my life full on!

I've have also received some amazing blessings and I'll be happy to share them here soon. But for now, let me just say goodbye, and also, let me say hello. Hello Vicki, your life is waiting for you, come, take ahold and enjoy!

Until next time,
blessings!

Happy 2011!!!

Happy New Year! It's 2011...wow!

Don't have much time to write, but I wanted to wish all my friends and family who still visit this lowly little blog of mine a very Happy New Year. I know that this past year I failed to be a good blogger, my 2010 had a few bumps along the way but way back in January my friend, Keriann, told me that 2010 would be my year. She was right! While 2010 proved to be a very good year for me in many ways, I know that 2011 is going to be my best one yet!

I hope that you will come back and visit me. I have so much to share with you all, just need to get through this next week of commitments and stuff and then, my plan is to be a full-on blogger...at least one post a week (well, that's my goal anyway)..

Figure I'll leave this post with a pic...took this one today of my girl as we had lunch. Used my iPhone and the Hipstamatic app, BlacKeys UltraChrome....



Until next time,
Blessings!