FREE

FREE....said (or rather typed) it again. This is my One Little Word or 2012. For those of you that do not know what One Little Word is, it is a "project" started by an insanely awesome scrapbooker, Ali Edwards. The idea behind it is that you choose a word for the year, a word that you decide on that you can use to work with all year, for whatever reasons you are needing or choosing. It's a word for you to focus your intentions on, for personal growth so to speak. Now, what Ali has done (as I'm sure she didn't come up with the entire concept of focusing on a word for yourself), is to incorporate that word into a scrapbook album.

I'm really excited to be a part of the process this year. In fact, I've tried to participate with this for a couple years now but in the past I somehow didn't have the focus I needed, nor the desire I think, to actually work on this. This year is different. I am finding myself in a place where I am needing to focus on myself in a few different areas and the word FREE is what totally speaks to me. I'm also excited because I really enjoy scrapbooking but for the past couple years I've sort of let it go in my life. This project of creating an album will be just the jump start I am hoping for to bring me fully back into scrappy mode! Ta dah...two fabulous reason to have my One Little Word!

Why FREE? I have several reasons for choosing the word FREE for myself this year:


1. I want to be FREE to say "no" and not feel guilt about it. For all of my life to date, I have been someone who feels horrible saying no to someone. It totally stresses me out when someone asks something of me and I know I don't want to, or can't do it for them yet I say yes because I either don't want to hurt them or make them mad at me. Instead, I get mad at myself and I'm tired of that! I have a right to say "no". I don't intend to be hurtful when doing this, but I am not going to do things that I know I don't want to or that I know are not good for me, just to save someone else's feelings. FREE!

2. I want to be FREE from this house. Now, before you go all getting "how ungrateful are you, Cricket?" let me just say I totally appreciate that I've had this home for the past 11 years. I'm also extremely thankful that Roger offered up to let me stay in the house until Mandi graduates high school, thus allowing me to save some money and have a familiar place to rest my head. I'm also very thankful that Roger has since also told me that he has no intention of asking me to leave right after Mandi graduates and can stay as long as I need. So, what do I mean by FREE from this house? I want to move on with life after divorce, after Roger, and it's very difficult to fully do that while living in "our" home with all it's memories. The home we built together, living on the furniture we picked out and used etc. It's also no longer "our" home or even "my" home (legally) and I want to be FREE from all the "ghosts" that live here with me. I want my own home, one that I build and create. One where I'm making new, happy memories in! FREE!

3. I want to be FREE from some personal issues that today, I am not feeling FREE to discuss. I am working on this one very hard, it's the hardest of them all and will talk about it soon. Again, I will be FREE to talk and feel good about doing it. FREE!

4. I want to be FREE from my constant worry over money. Now, I'm not talking financial freedom (although that would be nice), but more FREE from financial worry. I'm living a different life and lifestyle now that I'm divorced and it's taking some getting used to. Now, I realize I have it pretty good. I am not hurting in any way and I have way more than a lot of people do and I try to remind myself of that. It's just different and a change and I need time to come to terms with it. FREE!

Those are just a few of the things that my One Little Word, FREE will help me with. I'm looking forward to feeling FREE in all of these areas and then some, but I'm most excited for the process. There is something about digging in and getting down to the nitty gritty of my life that feels really good. I know this will be cathartic for me and I look ahead with excitement and wonder at the person I will become! I promise to take you all along on the journey. It's gonna be a ride! Sometimes a roller coaster and sometimes a merry-go-round but nonetheless, fun! Strap yourself in and hang on...here we go!

Until next time,
Blessings!